Sunday, December 18, 2011

Raising the Bar #3: Playing the Field

So I've been talking to a lot of women lately, and the most popular topic of conversation has been how much it sucks for a girl to be led on by a guy.

The idea of "playing the field" may seem harmless to most guys, but the truth is, "playing the field," can have really negative effects on the women we "pursue."  What most guys view as harmless fun, is no fun at all.  Something a lot of guys do is go on dates with several women at once.  The primary issue with this is that these guys are not open with these women about these circumstances.  Many of these women think they are the only girl that the guy is interested in.  When this happens it causes girls to get way more emotionally attached than the guy ever intended.

Men in these situations often times put the blame on the girl, and will call her clingy and crazy, but this is not the case at all.  The truth is, she is acting as any normal woman would when she believes a guy that she is interested in is also interested in her. 

Am I saying that going on dates with multiple women at once is completely wrong?  NO!  Now, personally I would never do that, but I believe that the moment you express to a woman that you are interested in her romantically, or you could potentially see the two of you being more than friends, it is your obligation and duty as man of God to do everything you can to guard her heart after that moment.  That means, no longer playing the field, no longer flirting with other girls, and being honest with her about how you feel about her.  Whether guys want to admit it or not, the moment we tell a woman that we are interested in her, the moment we start letting her monopolize our time, and the moment we start texting her ALL THE TIME, she has already started to give her heart to us.

As men of God, it is careless and irresponsible for us to allow this to happen if we are "playing the field."  Our sisters in Christ are supposed to be able to trust us to protect their hearts, not string it around like a yo-yo.  If you tell a girl you like her, than like her, and only her.  Let her know when its not working out.  Don't wait around for the next best thing, because the damage you are going to do to that poor girl's heart while you are waiting will not be worth it.  Will she get over it?  Probably!!  But is that fair? NO!!! Be a man.  Don't lead her on.  She's worth more than that.

1 comment:

  1. Hey there! Your blog is solid so far, lots of great advice and biblical principles. I've been struggling as of late with trying to figure out what to look for in a woman. I know what a biblical manifestation of love and service is, that a man is to love a woman like Christ loved the church. I know how to treat a woman with respect... but what factors into a man's decision making in who to give that gift of love to? It is a gift, a great gift. What makes someone worthy of your love? -Alex